Okay, ever heard a song, a story or something that somehow affects you in ways you in ways that can only be described as emotional? The level of empathy I'm talking is somewhere between living it and being a close relative of a person in a tragedy, who, incidentally, is a created character. I cannot begin to explain how utterly pathetic that is. It frustrates me to have to try and combat all these emotions with reason. Suffice to say that a battle easily, and often, lost.
By the time you've gotten to this line, you'd fancy me a wannabe stone-cold bastard. I'm not, really! On one hand, I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a hopeless romantic. However, I haven't a heart of stone, either. I can, and do, empathise with people, fictional or not. It's the degree of this particular bout of empathy that I'm not comfortable with. To lose focus and functionality in other things because of preoccupation with a story is unacceptable to my own standards.
The worst part about all this is that it forces some things that are best left buried to the surface. You, my dear reader, have, hopefully, no idea what I'm talking about. To those who think they do, shut the hell up. It probably isn’t what you think. Something that I thought I had left buried deep found its way back to the surface. As for why, I blame the aforementioned article. It left me unable to solve simple math equations, and that just ticks the hell out of me.
Furthermore, I'm left with no one to vent about this to, try as I may. I’m not a person to make friends carelessly, and I keep those I have closer. I live as a walking testament to the people around me who have shaped me. See what your hand have wrought, friends! Inspect your handiwork.
Okay, even after this post, I feel no better than I did when I started. The guy who told me venting online helps is a liar. I have to rethink the whole point of a blog, whether it's to relate my experiences and accompanying thoughts, or it is simply an outlet where I can find respite from the world.
Pain and suffering are the side effects of growth
-Gabe
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